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CFTI Live Show Predictions With Sallie

Comedy For The Internet · June 15, 2022 · Leave a Comment

September 2nd will be CFTI’s first ever live show event. What is one to expect from an online sketch comedy group performing in real life? Well gosh, I’m glad you asked. Expect nothing and everything all at once.

Personally, I Predict Pure, Unadulterated Chaos

Once the first ticket holder arrives, I predict that huge, marble pillars will suddenly appear out of thin air. A small man in golden, linen pants will hop back and forth atop the pillars, playing a pan flute and welcoming all guests to the show. “Hurrah, hurrah, for the finest day has come!” he will bellow. “Come along inside and get you some!” he will shout with an enthusiastic pelvic thrust. Dazed and confused, ticket holders will wander through the front doors of the theater and up the stairs. It is there where they will find realistic portraits of themselves hanging on the wall. They’ll be quickly ushered past their portraits, their mouths agape, into the main theater. It will be there, and only there, that a light rain will begin to fall.

How? If The Theater is Inside?

No one will know, and no one will ask. Electrical wires and stage lights will begin to short circuit, sparks will fly (literally), and masses of people will flee and run for their lives! Suddenly, amid the rain and the flames, a person with the face of a boy and the body of a man will appear on the stage. His name? Danny Neely. He will let out one, beautiful, high pitched note that will be so magical, so raw, so brave, that everyone will be forced to stop and stare. For what feels like hours, thousands of people will gather to listen to this man sing what sounds like something only an angel could utter. Once he finishes, Danny will disappear up into the rafters, never to ever be seen again. The thousands of people will leave, going to their various homes, hotels and places of business. Although they all collectively shared a moment so rare, no one will dare to ever speak a word of it again.

You Won’t Want to Miss CFTI’s First Ever Live Show Event

Get your tickets to Comedy For The Internet Live in Dallas, TX on September 2nd by visiting the Comedy For The Internet store. Show time is at 7:30 PM, and the event is 18+

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